- 15-year-old me: MOM I'm practically an ADULT ugggh you never let me do ANYTHING in olden times i could get MARRIED *eye roll into another dimension*
- me now: for my birthday i want food and to stay on your health insurance
i’m so sorry i wrote “fuck me right here” with an arrow pointing to your ass
on your back
why dont these words rhyme
but for some god forsaken reason pony and bologna do
my last word will probably be either “whoops” or “shit”
the original bromance
yes doctor i cant feel my clitoris
I’m so sorry
PLEASE STOP REBLOGGING THIS I DONT REALLY KNOW WHAT A MANGO IS BUT IT SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME
Sometimes CAH hits too close to home.
THE AMOuNT OF secoNDHAND EMBARASSMENT I GET fROM MOvies is uNBELIEVABLE LIKE IF SOMEONE dOES a stupiD thiNG IN A MOVie i have to look away Bc it is Is TOO MUCH FOR ME To HANDLE
I really hate being an introvert because I sometimes think “oh hey, I can totally hang out with a bunch of people right now! I can handle it! I hate being alone!!” and then three hours into hanging out I realize how draining of energy it is for me to be around other people and I just want to curl up into a ball and isolate myself for the rest of my life.
passive aggressive family members
"guess i’ll never be a grandma"
"guess i’ll never be an aunt"
"guess i’ll never be able to dress a niece/nephew"
stop feeling so entitled to my hypothetical offspring. it is not yours. it is mine. i will grow it if i grow it. and it will be mine. not yours. i am not an incubator which grants you familial titles. jesus. go away. this “have a baby i can play with” thing is so impersonal and insensitive and annoying.
tumblr literally defies all things i’ve been taught:
- don’t talk to strangers
- don’t make friends online
- don’t do anything stupid